We didn't really celebrated Christmas.

It was more of winter solstice celebration. Or an excuse for my mother to decorate our entire house. She would tackle every single room, wrapping the entire house in lights and glass baubles until everything was set in perfect order. White lights for Sea Cliff, red and gold for when we were in Sonoma. There would be tree that we would decorate together, cookies, and presents. My Father would always give everyone who worked for him double their paycheck. I guess out of some modern spirit of Saturnalia.

It was always the three of us. My mother's parents had passed before I was born, and her brother had died a few years before. And of course there were no relatives from my father's side, unless we're looking at dust.

[ there's a pause here, filled in by the soft buzz of an open connection. ]

She was amazing. The sort of person who could handle everything, even though there was always too much on her shoulders. Never would she falter. Even if it was the most trivial of problems, my mother would be there- whether with words or a fix for the situation. There wasn't anything I couldn't tell her.

When my parents split, I wished I could have just stayed with her.

It was always a struggle trying to talk to my father, no less live with him. Like drilling through a brick wall with a knife. He was so fucking set in His opinions, His beliefs, and His decisions. Whether it was taking me out of school or dragging me wherever his wanderlust took him. I thought I should have been able to at least come to a quarter-way kind of understanding, but even after twenty-two years, I've only seen the surface. I knew he was a capable of it though. I heard the conversations he had with Rainer, the expression on his face— I just assumed there was something wrong with me.

Maybe two thousand years is too wide a divide for us to ever come to terms with each other. I'll always be a child to him. Just a passing instance in the scheme of things.

But none of that really matters anymore. I just wish he would just disappear and leave me alone. That's asking too much, isn't it?

[ Another pause. The tired edges of his voice are probably noticeable by now. ]

... I'm so sick of these curses.

[ooc: sleeep now. ♥ Just wanted to get this up! I will be back to return tags in the morning. APOLOGIES FOR WALL OF TEXT. D: /milks this curse to make him talk sob. ]