All right, you assholes. What do you want?

No, I'm not your friend. Yes, I'm a jerk. No, I do not think Chase has nice hair. Yes, Caspian is a pretty princess. No, carousing with Dorian and Sirius was not fun. Yes, Ginny squeaks like a pig. No, I do not like Kate. Yes, working with Peter is tolerable. No, I do not have a deep, dark and mysterious past, unless being a spoiled brat counts. Yes, I probably dislike you.

It would be a miracle if someone actually worthwhile showed up. That means the only person I'll get is that bastard or that other bastard, according to the irony of the City.

[ooc: ... Apologies for the horrible assortment of typos that have plagued this post sob. /tiiiiired sob. ]