∞ [ LETTER ] || addressed to Room #521; misfired to the network.

[fatespoken]

DEAR ROOM #521:

Likely, you don't know me. My name is Amory Felix, and I'm technically your neighbor-- the room right under your floor.

So, there's this abandoned cabin deep in the forest surrounding my family's vineyard. It hasn't been lived in for years, full of cobwebs, rotted furniture. Back when I was a kid, the first time I discovered it, my friend dared me to enter. Close the door, stay inside for five minutes, and promise not to scream.

Have you ever known the feeling of a wet, frigid hand grabbing your shoulders in an empty room?

Of course, my friend thought: "Must be a ghost." Thinking logically, I explained to her that ghosts clearly didn't exist. It was all in my head. An ephemeral delusion. When I got home, I told my mother about the sensation. Then she explained to me, clearly: "Of course that was a ghost." Unfortunately, there was no doubting her.

What I'm saying is that I can be sensitive to certain sensations, sensations which are invisible to many people.

What does this have to do with the two of you?

Your magic-- power, whatever you call it-- tends to fluctuate when the two of you are making love. I understand it may be completely natural reaction, but for your sake and mine, I believe it's an issue we must address. You see, I can feel it. It keeps me up and gives me headaches. It's something like playing the stereo at 3 AM in the morning, while burning toast in the kitchen.

I'm not asking you to stop having sex. Even I'm not that much of a bastard. I'm just asking the two of you, politely, to be more aware of what you're broadcasting, and to make an effort to control it.

Please take this note seriously.

Sincerely,
AMORY FELIX

Comments

i see i'm not getting notifs

[adamantined]

Yeah, but it's not bitchy enough. There aren't even any drawings.

me neither. stupid lj.

[thenormalsquint]

I'm not sure anybody can draw magic sex.

[fatespoken]

This isn't ice skating, ladies.

[thenormalsquint]

Of course not. I only judge passive aggressive notes.

[fatespoken]

Considering the circumstances, I'd say it was appropriately polite.

[thenormalsquint]

Polite, but yet still I don't think they needed the cabin story.

[fatespoken]

I was trying to cushion the blow.

[adamantined]

I don't know. Have you ever seen some of those routines? They could compare to your situation.

[fatespoken]

I don't know, Claire. Personally, I haven't tried to fantasize my neighbors sexual escapades.

[adamantined]

Fantasizing and picturing are two completely different things. One is way more unfortunate and involuntary than the other.

[fatespoken]

Picturing still suggests you're conjuring an image.

But I don't claim to know your mind.

[adamantined]

I can't believe you've never gotten some horrifying image stuck in your mind just because you thought of it or someone suggested it and it refused to go away.

[fatespoken]

I have. Do you want examples?

My skating metaphor wasn't meant to extend this far.

[adamantined]

I really, really don't.

That's what happens when metaphors get away from you.

[fatespoken]

Your loss.

Honestly, I was reasonably polite.

[adamantined]

I wouldn't call it that.

You were reasonably polite. I would've probably just pounded on the floor with a broom handle.

[fatespoken]

Pounding on the floor was step two. This is step four.

[adamantined]

Talk to Ginny.

[thenormalsquint]

And now I need to know how Ginny knows how to draw sex to begin with.

[adamantined]

She goes to a boarding school. You do the math.

[7thborn.livejournal.com]

I beg your pardon.

[adamantined]

You know what sex is. And you're magic. Ergo...

[7thborn.livejournal.com]

Ergo I should know about... magic sex?

Making magic while you shag?

Riding a broom, as it were?

[adamantined]

I was actually thinking of making the pictures move, but thanks for the euphemism.

[7thborn.livejournal.com]

Oh.

Yeah, that's not unusual.