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[fatespoken]

The easiest way to go about this would be to trash everything, but I know my wine, even more than I know my spirits, and it would qualify as a sin to waste it.

So I'm giving it away.

Half bottles, full bottles and quarter bottles of absinthe, Jack Daniels, gin, vodka, Hennesey X.O, and rum. The wine, a few bottles, is all from the Russian River Valley. If you're familiar with California, it's a wine appellation located in the northern area of Sonoma. The valley's known for Pinot Noir and Chardonnay, and ranks as the best wine you can buy. Trust me, I was raised part of the time at my father's winery in the Valley, and I started tasting stock for him at fourteen. I know enough about nuances and the difference between good wine and shit wine to assure you quality.

Even a sober bartender can serve you a great drink.

[ There's an extended pause as the curse kicks in. ]

I used to be fucking brilliant, you know. I wasn't always a minimum wage chump serving coffee and spirits. I studied astronomy and physics at UC Berkeley, taking third year classes second year. Even did an internship at Fermilab. I had things I was good at, things I was bad at, but if I knew what I wanted- what I loved, then I was brilliant. Give me pain killers and gut my social life, and I could earn the grades I earned. The kind a parent would hang on the wall if he gave a damn.

Sounds like a kid's pipe dream, but I wanted to wanted to become an astronaut. When I couldn't do that, I figured working at NASA would be enough.

Then I inherited my mother's job, and everything unraveled. Hard work's nothing. I can handle pain to a high degree. But when your body's made an enemy of itself, when you're too busy playing dream voyeur to manage more than a few nights of sleep a week, then everything compounds and you reach your limit.

I couldn't handle mediocrity, not when it wasn't my fault. That's what happens when you pride weighs heavier than dedication. So, I dropped out, and have bitched and moaned about it ever since. But I'm done wallowing. Time's not dispensable, as though something to be thrown away like styrofoam peanuts. You say you're stuck in a mire, but if you don't budge than you'll be  there until you reach your end.

 As trite as it sounds, something's more substantial than nothing. I'm going to learn to deal with mediocrity. Even failure.

First things first, this will be a fucking mountain to cross.

[ooc: Realizing you're in a different time zones sucks. Backdated to an hour and a half ago. ]

[ If you want to action any cursed meet-ups during the day, he'll be going from home-> stables -> coffee shop --> blue light --> home today. Feel free to bump into him anywhere. ]

Comments

2/2

[fatespoken]

[ A beat. ]

-- What was it like up there?

[requestrequire.livejournal.com]

It's hard to describe. There are downsides: bad food, recycled air, cramped quarters. But I'm still glad I had the chance to do it. It can make you feel very small but not unpleasantly so.

[fatespoken]

It's a small consolation for the experience. But I'm not interested in your experience in the ship. What was it like out there? What did you see?

[requestrequire.livejournal.com]

Ah. I spent most of my time in orbit around Barrayar, a terrestrial planet with oceans and continents you can see from that far up. But I've been through wormholes -- disorienting -- and jumped into deep space. Komarr is one of the stranger sights from space. It has almost no atmosphere to speak of, so the surface is covered with domes and solar arrays while the terraforming is done.

excuse my tardiness T_T and is inability to shut up

[fatespoken]

So wormholes do exist- though it's yet to be proved in my world. And maybe you'd be able to clarify that whole thing about time travel and wormholes.

I'm really flinging too many questions at you.

fffff I LOVE BACKTAGS AND TALKING TOO MUCH

[requestrequire.livejournal.com]

Not at all. I'm sorry I'm not more of a scientist so that I could provide you with more complete answers. The Academy tries to provide a rounded education, so we get some but lacking some of the, ah, more detailed complexities.

<33

[fatespoken]

Well, there's probably no need to learn those details when you're just a soldier.

[requestrequire.livejournal.com]

That's the truth -- or the truth we were taught, anyway. I had a few instructors who actually discouraged us from asking too many questions about the scientific parts. Leave it to the engineers.